Monday, March 12, 2007
Been so long since my last entry.. recently everything seems fine.. i dun noe how to describe but yah, those who noe will undestand lah.. seems normal yet it's not so good actually..
having more unhappiness going on between us.. really very dishearted already.. giving up trying & being nice cos no matter how hard i try, nothing helps at all, only exhaust me further. like wat ppl always say, it takes 2 hands to clap.. i thot since ur ex gf was such a princess when wif u, maybe its my duty to dote on u as my way to protect u, but i'm wrong, u took me for granted instead. i thot dealing wif ur family is nothing as long as i hav u standing infront of me, but i'm wrong, u dun see the pressure i'm facing at all.. i knew e road is gonna be like tis when i make my decision tobe wif you but i never thot of you not doing your part. i thot by not flaring up when i'm angry is my way of not pressuring you but i guess its not being appreciated at all.. i have always tis little basic standard how a bf should be so i'll feel protected.. but e world knows u did none of it at all.. i'm seriously very tired of being like a clown hopelessly entertaining you.. i dun noe wat kind of gf u wan or like wat i guessed, u dun need me at all.. need time with your friens dun mean chute me aside as n when u like.. n going out wif my friens together dun mean keeping quiet at a corner n leave when u feel uncomfortable.. wat will ppl think of you as my bf?? how'll u feel if i do tis to u??
its only 3mths but e you is so different. Since you said the you now is e real you, then i prefer e fake you when we jus reunited las time. i did my best to fulfill my duty as a gf but i dun enjoy e privilege of having a bf. Who's there to pamper & pacify me when i'm feeling down?? e whole world's around except for u.. wat a joke it is.. u noe where n wats e problems abt but you never do anything to help. maybe u did some litle gestures i mentioned but damage recovery needs a bigger effort u see.. now even sms or call u, i need to think twice.. seeing u or not seeing you is both equally torturing.. i jus need you to put yourself into my shoes n think for me whenever.. a bf's duty is to protect e gf, so even if you dun protect me, dun take me as 1 of your teddy bear, i have feelings too..
PrinCeSs C's heaRt BeLL RingS.. ; 2:12 PM
