~%Royalty World of the Poison Black Cherry%~
Sunday, June 15, 2008
today, a usual sat where its OTOT half day at wk abt 2plus and my bf pick me up at 6plus.. went to pick up my makeovers n went PS cos my stupid hp is ready for collection.. it looks gorgeous wif e new cover but i doubt its capability not to break down again.. i booked e movie tat whole world told me tat i'll love it while in office today.. simple dinner n movie at 10ish.. we actually spent a $50 quality evening rather than drinking hundreds off at st james n ended hm tired n tipsy.. this is wat simple relation should be i think.. liking it..
heard e song "hey sarah sarah.. whatever will be will be....." when we were shopping in the Daiso jus nw.. huh.. a littlie girl walked past me telling her mum tat teacher taught her tis song some time ago n she noe how to sing.. haa.. yes, my teacher taught me how to sing it when i was in early primary too.. i dun noe wat it was meant but i like tis sing i remembered..
then we watched the movie.. "Sex & the city".. i like the lady in the movie.. she's real.. very real like me.. just tat i'm more bitter than her.. she's e smart girl in everyone's eye including herself.. n her fav is clothes n shoes.. Wow.. gorgeous.. Tang told me i'll love the gowns.. yes i wished i'm her! haa.. *dreaming* she's got everything prepared jus for tat wonderful day to come.. e 1 n only honorable n sarced wedding.. but her bf backoff at e las min.. poor thing yah? n tat asshole is 3rd time in marriage.. u screwed up twice n once again.. men r really single cell mammals.. n most impt, u're already screwed, y ruin a girl's dream of lifetime?? really dun understand.. n after e swearing n cursing abt e lady's bf, haa.. laugh at me quick! cherie is smart girl, loves clothes n shoes, n got a bf who's married b4 too!! haha.. so similar tat i guess my wedding of a lifetime might jus ended up e same way too.. huh.. actually, after i decided to be serious wif max, i gave up dreamin of my perfect wedding anymore..
this movie actually got me thinking.. during e movie, after i walked out e cinema to e car holdin my bf's hand, journey bk hm, in shower n even nw when i'm tying n my man's feeding me wif his self-cooked noodles.. ok, sorry i wasn't concentrating on enjoying ur company.. i was jus wondering abt me cos i dun wish to make a movie out of myself..
memories flashes thru my brain just nw.. i suddenly remembered how wonderful e feel was when i went for baby scanning, how painful 2 operations were, how destructive i was to myself n got myself out of it, how sweet n cosy me n aaron was but ended up e quarrel over e car, how hard i slapped him right on his face, how i hurted him with giraffe so tat he'll give up on me, how sillyful i was to giraffe, how beautiful i painted e picture of giraffe n my future, how mush hope i've pinned on him, how disappointed i was after 11mths of waiting when i decided to make him wait alone at hm on our anniversary.. jacq's wedding nite, our breakup day n my drama mama move out of his hse act.. everything just pass thru my mind at a sudden.. this 3 men in my life each left a mark tat nv will heal.. loved n let love.. i understand this point now.. after being thru so much, i dun dare to put it all in nw seriously.. time will heal.. n i keep repeating all this grandmother stories to myself.. for wat, i'm jus grumbling like a granny afterall.. stop it!
i've a man who loves me.. i noe.. n days goes by, deeper n deeply.. i can feel.. i noe i've locked myself up after giraffe's case.. cos it really hurts thus e great protection of myself.. i'm trying to learn how to love over again.. finding e right approach to devote myself to e man who dotes on me everyday.. he bought me my 1st bouquet of flowers today.. its nt e usual pink tat'll make me smile.. its blue.. e colour he likes.. it means he's putting me into his life.. i appreciate to see things frm different angle.. i might not really like blue nt matter how long it takes but i'm acceptin blue in my life..
my concept of life differs as i grew older.. i became a event planner cos i wanted to plan my best perfect wedding.. n few years later, i asked myself, wats e defination of perfect? n now i asked myself, is marriage a necessity in my life wif max? my wedding, is too big a regret to gamble off should anything goes bad wif him.. so i rather dun take e risk.. cos its nt his 1st.. n i matters most on e 1st experience.. stubborn cherie..
yes, i have always been wanting to start a new life of my own.. all my effort i've built to leave my parents r being paid off slowly now.. n together wif max, i hope tis is e last time i'm shaping my love.. it takes time to build my love.. maybe u'll feel injustify abt nw but trust me i'm trying hard..
e 2 job package will only come out next week.. i'm excited over my price tag.. haa..
i'm getting old.. type so much nowadays..
simple life, simple hse, simple love, simple future..
thats all i need..
PrinCeSs C's heaRt BeLL RingS.. ; 2:29 AM
PrinCeSs CheRie LeE C Y..
borNt On e SarCeD DaY, 25 SeP 1985 (Wed)..
A+ LiBra..
loVeS TranSpaRanT fLuiDs liKe VodKa & WaTeR!
dislikes the world, buT i'M BoWiN tO ReaLIty..
WiSh Tat LiFe CoulD bE BeTTeR..
GreAT BuDDiEs, SisTerS & LoVeR..
No ReGrETs..
What Has e WorLd BeCuMing? ReaLise Me fRm ReaLiTy..
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